My values have changed. When I look back, when I was in university especially, I was caught up in many things: showing others the happy me, keeping up “a persona” in my friend circle, being in with “what’s in”. Pretty superficial things.
The change definitely has some to do with maturing as I get older. But I think it’s also now I’m taking the time to reflect – not being stuck in other people’s lives or their opinions – I feel my values have changed.
Nowadays, I’m valuing awareness, my own emotions and feelings. Those are the top priority. These are things I rarely paid attention to earlier on. Back then I had an image of the ideal guy in my head and I guess I used to model myself after him (sounds crazy, no?). And with little awareness to my feelings, I would put on that front for hours in the day, days in the year, etc. Not sure how I pulled it off for so long. But I’m happy I can now differentiate between the two states.
I can delve deeper into how it’s all affected me, but there’s no need. I will note the elephant in the room however. The most obvious effect is that it set me back in knowing myself. Well, … it just means there’s more to discover ahead.
bits of CD 