Feelings on September 21

I’ve been having outburst of emotions lately, and I haven’t really had a place to hold them all. So I thought to come back here. I haven’t used you in a while, WordPress, but I hope this time you’ll work. There are times when I feel like I have no one to vent to.
I have “close” friends but they’re distant now whether its have relocated or due to the virus, its hard to see each other.

I started out with the tutoring session this morning. We went through the lesson with not too many hiccups. We were working on percentage problems. She struggled somewhat but that’s natural. Then towards the end of the meeting is when it all changed. She asked me about getting the worksheets that we worked on, so I sent her what we worked on today. But she didn’t stop there. She asked for the historical ones too. Note: we navigated finding some of these worksheets in class, so naturally I did not save everything we navigated through. Knowing this, she continued to raise her voice and demand that I send her the sheets we worked on in the past, as if she couldn’t continue her day without it. She continued to insult me, saying she has been a teacher, teachers should be more organized, Jessa was not like this, she is going to forget everything she learned. This all came after the lesson. I tried to provide what I could find. Still, I think she really felt the need to vent. Although this was really putting a damp on my day, I took a deep breath and apologized for how she felt. I ended the meeting shortly after.

After lunch I had a shift with VV’s. Although I’m appreciative of the opportunity the org has given me, I find that there are many challenges (even as a volunteer worker).

  • the Director comes in, unannounced, nicely, she asks us what we’re working on. Usually further interrogation follows
  • I do not always have things to do
    • this is worst when there is a group chat that I don’t need to be involved in, but I listen in for lack of anything better to do
      • I can brainstorm activities (such as outreach)
  • working with supervisor. He gives the feels of a micro-manager
  • I have yet to do what I thought I signed up for which is receiving customers’ calls and dispatching drivers
  • I can get to know others better
    • I can work in this department.
    • For one I can treat this volunteer gig as an experiment. Say how I really feel (with professionalism)

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